Why do bad things happen to good people? Bad things don't just happen to good people, they happen to every single one of us. Good things happen to us all too, but we tend not to remember those because we want them to happen all the time. It's just that when bad things happen we tend to remember them for longer.
So why do bad things happen to good people? In a word - choices. If you search for answers to this difficult question in the media or on the Internet they will invariably mention God or philosophical views related to that which you cannot control. However, in life there are many things you CAN control, just by making the right choices.
We just don't realize that the reason bad things happen to us a lot of the time is because we make the wrong decisions. Making one wrong decision can quickly lead to a cataclysmic sequence of events which just get worse as you go along, whether it be daily, weekly, monthly or even longer term.
Many external factors which we can't control, such as the weather or the economy, often shape our decisions for us. For example if the economy is pretty bad and finances are tight, maybe you'll decide not to splash out on that holiday or that new car. Maybe you'll decide to save money instead. These are not bad decisions, they can be considered prudent and wise. Making decisions like these are not difficult as they can be considered common sense.
However, making the right decisions on a personal level will determine what you go through mentally on a daily basis and this IS something you are in control of because the only person in control of how you think is YOU. Your frame of mind is an essential determinant of how a particular decision will pan out when it's made. If you make a decision when you're annoyed, angry, upset, depressed or unhappy, the likelihood of that decision turning into a negative outcome increases significantly. On the contrary, if you make a decision when you're relaxed, happy, optimistic and affirmative, you will be more likely to experience a positive outcome.
Many people just don't realize what frame of mind they're in when they're making important decisions. Making a conscious effort to understand this concept will greatly improve the chances of you making the right decisions in life. Sometimes, making the wrong decision may cost you time, money, effort, missed opportunities, or all the above. Don't worry about it, you will get other chances to make similar choices. Where it becomes really important is when your principles and character are at stake.
Don't ever let a decision cost you your individuality. Don't compromise on your values, principles, ethics and whatever makes you...you. The worst kind of decision you can make is the one which costs you something dear to you, something you love. To make the right decision you need to stop thinking. Instead you need to 'feel' the decision. Think of all your choices you have in a particular situation and explore how you feel about each one of them. Choose the one which makes you feel the best. If you practice this method with a clear mind, you will gain clarity and will be able to easily differentiate between the right and wrong choice.
Look at your options objectively. Don't make choices when you're negatively emotional such as sad, angry, depressed, unhappy etc. You need to be either completely unemotional or positively emotional when you're making a decision. Here's why you often end up making the wrong choice:
You want to ensure everything is right before taking action
Everything will never be 'just right.' If you're always waiting for the perfect conditions before you do something, you might be waiting a long time. Also known as procrastination. Don't spend too long deciding. It'll cost you time and lost opportunities.
Other people tell you it's the wrong decision
This is encroaching on your individuality. Why would you let others decide how your life will turn out? It's a sign that you don't trust yourself and you're unwilling to take responsibility for your own decisions. By letting others decide for you, you're becoming what they are not what you are.
Not learning from the past
It's easy to do something the same way again and again simply because that's the way you've always done it, it's second nature. Take a good look at the outcome. If things have repeatedly not gone in your favour, you need to make a different choice next time. Learn from failure.
Your want instant gratification
Making a particular choice may well get you what you want right now but what are the longer term consequences? Look at the bigger picture. Try to make choices that will put you in a better position permanently in the long term, rather than making a series of wrong choices for temporary gain in the short term.
You don't like taking risks
Your decisions tend to be mostly rational and not spontaneous. Whilst this will reduce the probability of negative outcomes in some cases, you will never experience the unexpected outcomes associated with being impulsive. You will never know what 'could have been' if you're always too sensible.
And here's how to start making better choices:
Use your experience
All the lessons you've learnt so far in life should equate to better decisions as you go forward. As you become more confident, your naivety should reduce as you become wiser and smarter.
Be better informed
Rather than make an ill-informed decision based on lack of information, ensure you know as much as possible about a situation before making a decision to take action. By knowing more, you might find yourself thinking differently.
Have belief in yourself
Other people may not agree with you, or may even put your ideas down. Learn to differentiate between listening to their opinion and changing yours because of them. Trust your instinct. Don't be dissuaded based on the emotions of others.
Stick with it
Once you've made a decision, stick to it. If you change your mind you will just create more uncertainty and will begin to doubt yourself. Have courage in your convictions and discipline yourself to stick to the choice you make.
Think long term
Your aim is to have a good life, not just a good day or week. Making short term sacrifices for long term gain is always going to be better than a quick fix now. Thinking long term will expand your horizons and allow you to take a little longer to decide.
Remember, whatever decisions you make, make them with a sound mind. Your thoughts will ultimately become your actions and your actions will determine your circumstances.
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